let’s build a snowman

Back when I was still an undergrad, I used to do pretty risky stuff. I pulled multiple all-nighters. In a row. I ate dorm food. For every meal. I started research papers three hours before they were due (and miraculously finished them). I ingested more coffee in a day than most people do in a week.

I was obviously living life on the edge. Oh yeah, I was a rebel like that.

But one of the riskiest things I used to do was take walks.

I know, right? YOLO, people.

No but really, one of the riskiest things I used to do was take walks. Why was this risky? Because I usually took them by myself at approximately 2 or 3 in the morning and I didn’t have a set place to walk. I walked all over the La Jolla/San Diego area. Or rather, as much of it as I could before the sun came up. There are more times than I can count that an officer pulled up next to me and asked if I was alright because I was walking around alone in the wee hours of the morning like a crazy person.

Sometimes, if my roommate was awake, she’d go with me. But usually, I went alone because she would sleep way before I did. And I didn’t know who else to ask. Who would want to take a walk with me at midnight, much less at two in the morning? Who would want to wander aimlessly around the city, in the temperamental San Diego weather, talking about nothing and doing nothing?

My penchant for walks in the early morning hours has not changed. Sometimes I want to sneak out of my house and just take a walk all around my city. But even though my city is much safer than San Diego is, the trails that I want to walk are a lot riskier because of the lack of people and no lights. So the obvious solution is going with a friend. But what kind of friend wants to take a walk with a mentally unstable girl at 1 in the morning through gravelly horse trails?  I tried to ask one of my friends to take a walk with me, but I couldn’t even get the words out. Can you imagine how that would sound?

“Hey, you wanna take a walk right now? Yeah I know it’s 1 AM. Yes I know you have work and I have school. Please?”

So I sat in my car and listened to the rain instead. I guess these walks are not one to be shared just yet.

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2 thoughts on “let’s build a snowman

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    • Thank you so much for your words. I really hesitated and doubted whether I wanted to start this because I was afraid of what kind of response I would get. I’m so glad that you find this something important to discuss and I can’t tell you how much that means to me! I’m really hoping that more people will read this and that this will reach out to people who need it. Thank you so much for affirming that I’m doing some good!

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